I have two roommates. They are both about 10 years younger than me, which can make for some “interesting” dynamics… One is a voice major, a Songbird, like me. We have our moments, but for the most part we get along quite well. Those moments tend to be the result of spending too much time together and are usually remedied by spending time with other friends for a few days. The other roommate came as a package deal with Songbird… (They have been friends since junior high and needed a place to live that was closer to campus… I needed roommates so I would have enough money to pay my bills.) This one is a Mosquito… Irritating in the extreme. For several months I was simply indifferent, but I have reached my limit and now I simply can’t stand her. I wish I could describe exactly what it is about her that I find so annoying, but I can’t find the words. Soon Songbird and I have to tell her that come June we will be moving to a new place without her… It could be… interesting.
Why am I stupid? October 17, 2009
Why, oh, why am I stupid? I can’t stand stupid people, so does this mean I must now despise myself?
Let me explain…
I recently met a very nice guy. He’s smart, he’s fun to hang out with, and he’s just an all-around good guy. He’s a very good fit for me. Yet I’m really not all that interested. Why? Probably because he’s nice. I always seem to be attracted to jerks. They don’t seem like jerks at first (because I usually ignore the warning signs), but they always wind up being bad apples. I really think this one is a genuinely nice guy. So again I ask, “Why am I stupid?”
fingerprints, paperwork, retirement, oh my! June 25, 2009
Why do I live in this part of the world??? I hate the heat!
Anyhow… Life is looking up a little bit today. Yesterday I went and turned in paperwork at the community college for my adjunct position. This included having to go to the police department to get fingerprinted yet again… This is the fourth time in the past five years. The DOJ is going to get tired of running my background checks soon at this rate. Why is it that I always feel nervous walking into a police station?
As I was standing in Human Resources at the school signing yet more paperwork, the very nice HR lady was trying to explain the differences between two different retirement programs that I was offered. If you plan to teach for a long time, go with plan A. If not, stick with plan B. I looked at her and tried very hard not to tell her how young I am and how long it will be before I can retire. I already have 3 years in plan A (STRS) from working as a substitute teacher, so I decided to cut down on the confusion by sticking with what I already have. There is really an inordinate amount of paperwork involved in being hired at this school. I guess I should probably just try to get used to it. Yippie.
I Hate Summer June 22, 2009
It sounds almost blasphemous to say, but yes, I do indeed hate summer. I’m not good at not being insanely busy, and I get depressed sitting at home for too long. I also get cranky and annoyed with my roommates at the drop of a hat. Bleh!
On top of being bored and depressed, I haven’t had the greatest summer so far… Found out a couple weeks ago that Elixir has been nixed by the old crone who holds the music department here in her iron vise-like grip. And a couple weeks ago I got an email from the summer program I’m doing next month… It was the email with the cast list. We’re doing Gianni Schicchi and Dido & Aeneas. There was just one problem… My name wasn’t anywhere on it. The retard who’s running the program “forgot” to cast me because he “misplaced” my rep list/resume… both copies of it, that is. I sent one in with my application and gave him another copy in person at the audition. So tell me, how the HELL do you lose both of them? And how do you just forget about someone you gave nearly a full-ride scholarship to? Answer: either you’re stupidly incompetent or you’re wishing you hadn’t accepted me and want me out of the program. I’m going with stupidly incompetent, because if he wants me out of the program he chose a really stupid way to go about getting me to drop it. He did finally fix it, but he cast me only for Dido & Aeneas, which he has TRIPLE cast! (Most of the people in the program are undergrads. I’m one of the few graduate students, yet I’m also one of the few who didn’t get cast for both operas. What’s up with that?) Supposedly he’s going to decide at the beginning of the second week who is actually going to perform and he may split roles up. That’s going to be a freaking mess. I really don’t want to deal with the man anymore. It will only be a two week program, thankfully, and I shouldn’t have to deal with him ever again once it’s over.
So, yes, I hate summer. And not just because of the heat.
Back in the Saddle Again January 7, 2009
This break has been long. I haven’t really been bored… I’ve had plenty to keep me busy (cleaning/organizing my apartment, planning for my 15 voice students, planning for the music appreciation class that I’ll be teaching, getting started on learning the hour-and-a-half worth of music I have to sing this semester, etc.), but I was still very glad when campus opened back up on Monday. It’s still a ghost town, but the buildings are open, the library is back up and running, and I don’t have to spend my days holed up in my apartment. I’m a bit worried about what this next comment might say about me… I realized recently that my office at school feels more like my “home” than my apartment does. So far today I’ve spent almost four hours in my office, most of that time getting work done on the above mentioned projects, and I plan to spend another couple hours. My only annoyance at the moment is that the practice rooms are locked for some stupid reason and I don’t have a key.
Next week I will start teaching lessons again. I have 15 students this semester. Yikes! That has made it difficult to find music enough for all of them (without doubling them up on literature). I am excited, though… I convinced the department head to move their “master class” to Tuesdays, so I can be there. The idea is that will be able to (at least partially) take over the master classes and hopefully have time to start teaching them some IPA. It makes sense, since I teach two thirds of the voice majors. I’m also hoping to do an opera scenes class with them in the fall.
I was planning a recital for this semester at COS (where I teach lessons), but it has had to be cancelled. I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I was really looking forward to it, but on the other hand, it’s a relief that I don’t have to worry about it. I still have to learn a ton of music. I just have a little bit longer until I have to have it all performance ready.
Oh, well… I am happy to be back at school, even if classes haven’t started yet. I know I’ll be incredibly stressed out once they do. For now it’s nice to be here and be able to get work done without feeling like a crazy person because of looming due dates.
Crush August 31, 2008
So there’s this guy. He’s really nice and he’s kinda cute and I’m developing a major crush on him. He’s a pianist in the master’s program at the same school I’m going to. He’s been very helpful figuring things out the past week or so. We went to dinner last night, then came back to my place to watch a movie (a very lame movie, which we laughed at a lot) and talked for a long time. He asked to see the music I’m singing this semester. I found it interesting watching the wheels turning in his head as he was reading the music and hearing it in his head. I wish I could do that – look at a piece of music I’ve never seen or heard and turn it into sound in my head. I’m always impressed by people who can do that.
We don’t have school tomorrow, being Labor Day and all. I have a lot of homework to do, since I haven’t touched it yet this weekend. I’ll be busy most of the day with that. Nevertheless I hope to see him tomorrow…
Golly! I havent’ had a crush like this in a long time.
Horrible, Ungrateful Musician Am I July 4, 2008
I must admit that lately I have been rather uninspired. I suppose a lot of that came from the emotional rollercoaster I was on with my grandpa passing, but as I think back I realize it started before that. It’s kinda funny how we sometimes go through cycles like that. Or maybe it’s just me. I will be really excited about something and then not care at all, and all the shades in between. Maybe I’m just fickle.
A good friend of mine (I’ll call her Clara, for Clarinetist) just started taking lessons again. (As a side note, when my mother heard about it she asked, “Why does she need to take lessons anymore? She’s already got a master’s degree in clarinet.” Oh, my uninitiated mother, you just don’t understand.) And she’s been really enjoying it. Talking with her this week I got back a little of my enthusiasm. Well, actually at first she made me feel guilty. Here I am trying to get ready for grad school, which I’ll start in about a month and a half, and I hadn’t practiced in at least 3 weeks and I’d totally slacked on studying for my entrance exams.
Clara, my clarinet playing buddy, posted on LiveJournal about how much she’d practiced one day, so I, feeling like a sluggard and a horrible, ungrateful musician, trudged off to church, where I can practice without interruptions, prying ears, or complaining neighbors. I can’t say that I’ve done a lot of practicing this week, but I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my arias this weekend.
As far as my studying goes, I have been accused of being an overachiever at times, and I think some of my friends, including as Clara, are convinced that I’m worrying too much about my exams. Unfortunately I feel like I have forgotten EVERYTHING I ever learned in music history or music theory, so if I don’t study like mad I will be so nervous going into the darn things that I’ll do poorly simply because I won’t be able to concentrate because of my nerves. I always have kind of laughed at my grandma for being a “worry wart,” but I am coming to realize that she’s not the only one in the family. 
So I’m going through the Grout/Palisca History of Western Music textbook, which I’m finding is a much better textbook than the one we used in undergrad (Stolba’s Development of Western Music). It also helps that I’ve got the anthology and study guide that go along with it.
I also had great intentions to get through several vocal pedagogy books this summer, including two Richard Miller books. If you have read any Richard Miller you should know that trying to get through two of his books (and understand them) is not a “light” affair. He tends to be incredibly technical. When I first got his Training Soprano Voices about 4 years ago, it took me several tries and quite a bit of my limited brainpower to figure out what he was saying. Now when he talks about appoggio, la lotta vocale, or the “expansion of the lateral abdominal and low dorsal walls of the torso” I understand what he is saying, but back then it was all gibberish to me.
Anyhow… All that to say I have a lot of work to do in the next month and a half. I don’t know if I’ll get it done, but I’ll try.
I think I’ll put in an opera tonight… I watched L’elisir d’Amore yesterday (love it!), so maybe tonight I’ll watch La fille du regiment. I never did finish that one.
Practice Time July 1, 2008
The last couple weeks have been very tough. My grandpa passed away about a week and a half ago, and the time since then has been busy and emotional and exhausting. As a result I haven’t done the practicing or studying I should have done. I just finished my first practice session for at least two weeks. It felt good to sing again. I’m not entirely thrilled with everything I did (I’m listening to the recording right now), but it could have been significantly worse. I’m particularly annoyed at my vocal stamina, or lack thereof.
I suppose I should cut myself some slack. When I was an undergrad I used to HATE practicing because I would be hoarse after a half hour, whereas if I sang for someone else, like my voice teacher, or even just my accompanist, I could sing for a couple hours. At that time I did not think. I didn’t pay attention to my body or what I was doing with it as I sang, so I couldn’t fix that problem.
I have since learned to be more thoughtful in my practicing and more attentive to how I make my sound. I think teaching voice has helped a lot with that. So I can sing longer, and I am not hoarse, but my voice is noticably fatigued, which annoys me.
Anyhow… I love Reynaldo Hahn. Well, some of his music isn’t all that wonderful, but much of it is simply divine! I’m working on three from his Etude Latines: Vile potabis, Tyndaris, and Pholoe. They are all gorgeous. As I mentioned above, I’m listening to the recording of my practice session right now, and the song that’s on now is Pholoe. The song is simple and beautiful, the text full of sadness and regret. It’s not a polished recording, by any means, and my “accompanist” is my computer playing a midi file, which is a bit restricting, but I still just love the song. Listen: Pholoe, by Reynaldo Hahn. (The original recording was clear, but somehow in the conversion process some funky pops got into it.) I include this recording, not because it’s wonderful (which it’s not – it’s just a practice session), but because it’s a virtually unknown art song by a composer who really deserves more attention. There are other Hahn songs that are more wonderful than this one. Check out Susan Graham’s recording of Hahn’s music. It’s fantastic!
(The title of this blog makes it sound like I care only about opera, but I am a big fan of art song as well. I loved art song before I loved opera, actually.)
In Spite of Myself June 30, 2008
In the next issue of Classical Singer magazine (which is online, but I haven’t gotten the magazine yet) there is an article about why voice teachers teach. One of the quotes in it made me chuckle:
“I love exposing my students to music they would not have otherwise tried. It is a joy to see them start to love it in spite of themselves.”
When I was a student at the junior college (that I now teach voice lessons at) I sang Think of Me from Phantom, and I remember thinking that I’d finally sung something from Phantom, so I was done with opera (not realizing at the time that it’s not an opera). In fact, I quite adamantly did not want to sing opera.
Ha! It’s funny how things change when you get the right teacher who can open your eyes to see how wonderful something is. In spite of yourself.
I’m Still Here June 12, 2008
It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I don’t have a good reason – I just lost focus there for about a week. I was distracted by tv and computer games. Bad me! I started studying music history for my entrance exams again yesterday, though, so I’m getting back into it. Between yesterday and today I’ve actually gotten a decent amount done. I finally finished the Romantic period and am now into the 20th century. Of course, after I get through the book I’m going through now, which is just a basic outline (Harper Collins Outline: History of Western Music by Hugh M. Miller & Dale Cockrell), I am going to get into the real textbook (A History of Western Music by Grout and Palisca). And I still have to brush up on my theory. All this by mid-August. Oy! I better get back to work!
Yesterday I was poking around in the iTunes store (taking a short break from studying) and came across some free downloads. This is a little bit out of my normal way, but I downloaded a recording of a pianist. (It was free, after all.) It’s quite good. Very relaxing. I ended up purchasing the whole cd. His name is Ludovico Einaudi, pianist-composer. His music has elements of minimalism, but not overly so. If you get a chance, you should definitely check it out.
